It's the Adrenaline
by Maeve Morgan
Summary: Post 6x02. After seeing Jay splattered on the street with blood all over and thinking he was dead, Hailey comes to a few adrenaline and alcohol-induced realizations. Upstead, Upzek.


**Disclaimer:** Chicago P.D., its characters and universe belong to Dick Wolf and Matt Olmstead and NBC. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this TV show and personal pleasure.

A.N.: I started writing this after 6x02 and I was oh so delighted when I saw 6x03 and that the writers are sort of going in the direction I had thought. Time to get inside Hailey's head!

* * *

 **It's the Adrenaline**

Hailey Upton allowed herself to be led away from the crime scene by Adam Ruzek, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders as she tried to get a hold of herself. She wiped away at the tears that kept running down her face and while usually she was good at controlling her emotions, the last couple of day's high tensions finally got to her.

She'd heard Voight shouting at her partner and she wholeheartedly agreed. Jay should've been dead. Sure, he'd at least followed protocol enough to wear a vest under his clothes, but running recklessly after a fleeing criminal with a gun in his hands with no backup? Daniel could've aimed a shot at his head and then no gear would've protected him from this.

She understood Jay was grieving, even with all the crap he'd spouted out about his difficult relationship with his dad, and truth be told Voight should've benched him from this case from the start. It could've created a whole mess with the ADA if this case went to trial, as the defense lawyers would have had a field day with a CPD detective working on the case pursuing the criminal that had been responsible for his father's death. But Hailey had also learned over the past year that Hank Voight did things his own way and damned be the consequences, and most members of the Intelligence Unit followed his lead. Usually Jay Halstead could be counted to be more level-headed than this, but grief and anger made a man do very stupid things.

"Hailey… Uh… I just couldn't stop myself." Jay had said apologetically, slightly shaking his head as she just sat beside him on the rig after briefing him on the aftermath of the case for the Mendoza family. She didn't know if he was talking about his yelling at her earlier or how much of an idiot he'd been by going after Daniel on his own, but either way she knew she'd forgive him.

At least he was alive. She'd never have forgiven him otherwise.

The blonde still felt in quite a daze when she realized Adam was walking them into a bar. When he mentioned getting them out of there and going for a drink she'd naturally thought of Molly's so she figured they were walking to his car, but apparently he'd thought differently. As they walked into the pub she realized she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she didn't register the fact that they had actually walked across the river towards the area of River North closer to Navy Pier.

"I know this place," Adam said as a way of explanation as they approached the corner of the bar and sat on a couple of stools. "I figured it would be better than sitting in traffic all the way across town to get to Molly's."

He was right. Traffic jam would be a bitch this time of the day, especially as they had closed several streets nearby in pursuit of the offender. As Adam flagged down the bartender, who approached them to take their order, Hailey found herself making her order without conscious thought. "Whiskey, neat."

"You got it," the woman replied, her eyes showing some sense of concern and curiosity over Hailey's rather frazzled look, but not enough to actually ask any questions other than their orders. As Adam ordered the same, the bartender got two glasses and poured the shots for them.

Hailey grabbed the glass with a slightly shaking hand and knocked back her drink in one long gulp. She slammed the glass down on the counter and rasped out, "Another." The bartender merely raised an eyebrow at this and poured down another shot.

"Hey, you a'ight?" Adam asked concernedly, putting a hand gently on her shoulder as he watched her with worried eyes.

"No," she said truthfully, her hand still shaking a little as she brought the glass back up to her lips, yet this time she took a rather large sip instead of knocking the whole glass down at once.

She hadn't been this affected since the case against Booth. Not even Al's death had caused such turmoil inside of her. Of course, she'd liked the older detective and had been shocked and sad over his untimely death, but seeing Jay splattered on the street with blood all over his shirt like that? Her heart had been hammering out of her chest, almost as if trying to take flight, as she ripped open his shirt and checked that the vest had protected him from the shot to his chest and that all the blood was coming from a non-fatal wound on his side.

As the alcohol started taking effect in her system and steadied her frayed nerves a little, she couldn't help equating the feeling she'd had during that one horrifying moment she'd thought Jay was dead to the sinking feeling she'd had in the pit of her stomach when she'd realized Booth had killed Garreth all those years ago. It shook her to the core and it made her want to run away from this all at once.

She could not go through this again. She could not believe that she'd fallen in love with yet another partner and that she'd come this close to losing him.

As Hailey knocked back the rest of her drink once more, Adam frowned at her as he said, "You wanna talk about it?"

"I really don't," she said, shaking her head a little as she motioned the bartender to pour her another shot. Talking about it, any of it, was the farthest thing from her mind at the moment. Quite frankly she just wanted to get drunk enough right now to get rid of this horrible feeling hammering in her chest and the image of Jay splattered on the street like that, still burning behind her eyelids when she closed her eyes. Hopefully even drunk enough to forget her sudden realization that she was in love with her idiot partner.

And he was such an idiot and such a walking mess! Not to say that she had all her shit together, but Jay had had one hell of a year, dealing with his PTSD from the war, Lindsey suddenly leaving without saying goodbye, inadvertently killing an innocent little girl then that case with Luis Vega's death and his stupid idea of getting involved with Camila afterwards? Uh-uh, that was enough damage and baggage than she was equipped to deal with.

Besides it wasn't like she had any indication that Jay felt the same for her. So it was best to not complicate an already complicated situation even further and keep it all professional between them. She had to nip this in the bud and bury it all inside her once more.

"You sure?" Adam insisted, his hand still supportively rubbing gently on her shoulder as his other hand brought his glass up to his lips, as he was just now finishing his first glass as she was starting on her third. "Maybe I can help."

As Hailey turned to look at him, her blue eyes now slightly glazed over thanks to the whiskey and no longer because of tears, she considered him for a moment. She knew at times Adam could also be a gigantic idiot, but his heart was in the right place. She could also read genuine care and concern for her in his brown eyes now.

"Yeah," she replied, smiling a little back at him. "I'll be okay. Like you said, it's the adrenaline." She'd keep telling herself that until it was bound to become true at some point. Right?

He had a gleam in his eyes that told her he did not believe her words, like he knew there was something behind this sudden calm facade. But before he could challenge her on that Hailey suddenly leaned forward, her lips aiming for his as she unexpectedly kissed him.

"Whoa," Adam pulled back after a moment, his hand on her shoulder steadying her a little as she just kept leaning forward towards him. "What's going on? Hailey?"

"You said you could help," Hailey simply said. "This is way better than talking."

He eyed her attentively for a moment. He'd be lying if he said he'd never thought of kissing her before, after all she was beautiful and he liked her. But some internal alarm bell was ringing telling him this was not a good idea. She was clearly drunk and in shock after what had just happened.

"You sure about this?" He checked with her as he kept looking into her eyes.

Oh she was sure. Adam was attractive but she didn't have any complicated feelings for him. They worked together, but he wasn't her assigned partner. He seemed to care for her, but there was no indication he was madly in love with her either. This is what she needed, something to take the edge off and keep her mind off this. Almost like some sort of reverse buffer, if you will.

Hailey leaned forward once more, her hands going up to wrap around his neck as her lips sought his once more. This time Adam didn't hesitate and he kissed her back. He'd never been very good at paying attention to his inner warnings anyway.

As his hands got tangled up in her hair and their kisses quickly became deeper and more heated she suggested they get out of there. Leaving a few notes on the counter for the drinks, they left the bar and Hailey knew the next morning she would regret all of this, but at the moment she didn't care.

She could blame it all on the alcohol and the adrenaline.

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A.N.: Hailey seemed so full of regret the next morning, this is what I imagined took place between 6x02 and 6x03 and what got her to sleep with Adam in the first place.

PS: Don't like the idea of Upstead? Then don't read this and leave abusive reviews afterwards. This is my interpretation of the show and no one is forcing you to read something you don't like; it's very clearly stated in the description that this is both Upstead AND Upzek. Flaming reviews will be removed because I'm not obligated to stand them and this is not a discussion thread on a forum where you get to try to change my mind on what I do or don't like. Other than that, thanks to anyone reading and leaving kind reviews. :)


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